Personal Power

20 Jan

Yesterday I spent a full 8 hours in a workshop designed to improve personal presence – that is, the way others apprehend me when I’m walking into a room, presenting, participating in a meeting, etc.

Some of these workshops are full of fluff and feelings.

Yesterday’s was not that kind of workshop.

Were there feelings? Of course. But they were the deeper sort – the sort that usually remain safely tucked away behind the behaviors that get us through each and every day without having to twang those particular chords.

Oh, and personal power – I have plenty. I just need to stop – completely and utterly and thoroughly – worrying even a little bit whether I am seen as “being nice.” I want to be kind – but sometimes, that means not being nice. I also want to be competent – and sometimes, that definitely means not being nice.

After a lifetime of trying super hard to be seen as nice – instead of smart, since that so often translates to “threatening” – it is time to just be me.

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2 Responses to “Personal Power”

  1. geekpyxie January 21, 2011 at 8:21 am #

    YAHOO!!!!! 🙂 I feel you, sweetie. As soon as I get emphatic about something, people are scared I’m mad at them, or in a bad mood. It drives me crazy, because then I feel the need to APOLOGIZE for being emphatic, and I have to make sure everyone knows I didn’t mean anything bad. Feel your power, Torreybird. Don’t let anyone take it away from you–especially you!!!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I think I just figured out agency (Dammit.) « Torreybird - May 6, 2011

    […] me, this relates to the difference between being nice and being kind. Nice is passive, even when it’s active – no boats are rocked. Kind is a choice, an act […]

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