Translation Tips for Writers (AKA: How not to be a jerk online.)

If you want to say:	Instead, say:
F*ck you.	Thank you.
What kind of idiot are you? Nobody could get that out of what I wrote.	I hadn’t thought of it that way.
I can’t believe you wrote that on the INTERNET, where everybody can read it! Take it down right now, or I’ll sue!	I’m glad you shared your perspective with me.
Just because YOU had a difficult childhood doesn’t mean MY character did – you’re reading into it.	I appreciate your insight.
You don’t deserve to read my stories.	I’m grateful you took the time and energy to share your opinion.
F*ck you and all of your agent and editor friends. You’re all in it together – a closed club.	I hope I can resubmit/come to you for feedback again.
I have never read something so MEAN as what you said about my work!	Your candor is refreshing.
I can’t even figure out what you meant in your comments. Learn to write!	I will consider carefully what you said.
You’re so f*cking nit-picky.	The specifics you pointed out are helpful.